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Confinement Period - journal of a first time mother

Day 27 into my confinement period ...

Most of the first time mother probably have no idea what do we do during the confinement period, so I wanna share what I had been doing this month here...

I deliver my baby girl on 2/10/15, it's a Friday evening, via SVD, after PROM and going through about 16 hours 1st stage of labour plus about 30 min 2nd stage of labour, analgesia only IV pethidine cause I refuse epidural analgesia, augmentation of labour start in labour room, total 4 hours of augmentation prior to 2nd stage, episiotomy was done on crowning after given LA, baby girl with birth weight 2.9kg delivered, Apgar score 9/9. I was sent back to ward 3 hours post delivery, then discharge well the next morning. Erm, just ignore this paragraph as this is how a doctor document her own delivery story.

Let's back to my topic, my confinement lady reach my house after I was discharged from ward. So 3/10 mark the first day of my confinement period and oso Day 1 of life for my baby girl (cause she was borne on 2/10 evening, so the Matron told me that day consider day 0). It's abit chaotic on the 1st day, cause my house is not equipped at all since we seldom cook, so my husband and my mother in law needs to go around to buy lots of things esp some kitchen ware. Then cause I was sort of 'grounded' on upstairs (because post delivery lady not suppose to walk here walk there n not suppose to climb stairs), so I can't help with the kitchen, I can only stay in the room with my baby, trying to breast feed.

First few days was bad, for me, my husband and the whole family esp my mother in law, cause my husband need to go around from shops to shops, then go to market and Chinese herbs shop to buy my confinement's meal ingredients. He also need to buy a lot of cooking utensil or fetch my mother in law to her house to bring some of her cooking utensil here.

For me, on the day I reach home, I felt so sweaty and smelly, so after my confinement lady cook the "bathing water" (it's actually boiled water with the packet of "confinement herbs pack" inside, those herbs can be bought from any Chinese herbs shop), I immediately took a shower, including washing my hair... Then I was "advised" to wear socks and shoes in the house, cause I am not suppose to let "wind" go inside my body. =_=lll

Unfortunately, once i finish showered and blew my hair with hair dryer, some relatives start coming to my house for "baby visitation", and since my baby is inside my room, so everyone came into my room, including the confinement lady. Then I was being nagged again "har, u so fast wash ur hair edy?! U not suppose to shower at so night! Where's your socks and shoe? etc etc....." I just reply with an embarrass smile and continue entertain those who came visit the baby.

That night, my husband came back very late, cause he is out there buying things. When he came home, apparently everyone in the house already know I wash my hair edy and they ask my husband to "inform" me to follow those confinement rules and give cooperation to the confinement lady. I agreed to shower only once a day, using the confinement bathing water, and wash my hair every other day. Cause since I will be staying at home most of the time, so there's no need to wash hair everyday.

Oh one more thing, about breastfeeding the baby. I will blog about it next time, but I do remember, that first day, I am quite depress that my breast milk production is not so much and my baby is still crying even after I feed her for so long duration. Then my husband and his family decided to buy some milk powder to top up the feeding. I know it's ok to top up on the first few days since my milk production is still less, however, the way they told me about topping up the milk powder made me felt so insulted.

After that, I researched on the daily requirement of infant, and found this:





So I am sure my breastfeeding was enough for my baby, just that too many over-concerned parents and relatives with lots of "useful" advice made me feel so stressful. Just like the saying "Too many cook spoil the dish", so my baby end up need to start on powder milk on the first day of life, and I become very very stress up for not having enough breast milk. Now reflect on the news " Young mother commit suicide due to lack of breastmilk ", I roughly can understand that lady's feeling, and I am sure those relatives could be the co-murderer in this event due to their negative word and comments, such a tragedy. This call the "Power of Word", in a negative way.


That's summed up my first day back from hospital. Tired physically and mentally.

Second day, it's a Sunday, early in the morning, nurse from Klinik Kesihatan already called me wanted to come for Post natal Home Visit. They arrived at about 830am, check the baby and measure my vitals plus examine my episiotomy wound. Then, my nightmare started... Cause my baby was found to be slightly jaundice, and my episiotomy wound is not well sutured (according to the nurse), so I was advised to seek treatment at hospital for the wound and also baby's jaundice. My husband was on the way to church for Sunday service initially, he drove back home to fetch me and brought me and my baby to private hospital (cause we don't want to go to GH's A&E department).

We struggled abit cause I still felt painful at my wound area, then need to carry my baby, thanks God the staff at Columbia Hospital Seremban was quite friendly, they gave me a wheel chair and offer to push me to registration counter while my husband park his car. Cut the story short, end up my episiotomy is just fine after check by the Gynae consultant, and my baby TSB level is just at the borderline level, no indication for phototherapy yet. We went back home and many people start visiting and asking questions on the visitation to hospital, it's so damn annoying! During that time, when the baby cry, I wanted to breastfeed the baby, but soooooo many people around, and they just don't have the common sense of giving me and the baby some space so we can established the breastfeeding relationship. My second day end up with me being more depress on unable to breastfeed my baby well despite the nurse from KK keep telling me I actually have more than enough breast milk for my baby, and also annoyed by those people who lack of common sense.

I started to use my breast pump on the third day post delivery. Based on my experience, Be Consistent and Not Giving Up at the starting period is the key of successful breastfeeding. This is the proof...






Ok, I am suppose to talk about our daily life during confinement period. My "established" daily routine only started after 3 weeks post delivery (it's actually the last month of my confinement period) because of my baby's jaundice and again... those lack of common sense people and those "useful" advice. Thanks God we hire a confinement lady and she take care of the baby at night, so we got to rest during night time.


Basically, my day starts goes like this:
630am wake up and then start to pump milk
715am drank milk and supplement protein powder, check on the breastmilk stock, sort out the earliest packet and defrost it by putting the bottle under room temperature
730am brush my teeth and wash my face abit
8am check on my baby, if she needs feeding, start to breastfeed her, or bottle feed her with pre heated breastmilk.
845am breakfast, it's red wine Mee sua (omg can't believe I had been eating this daily for 27 days edy)
930am pump mik
1030am feed the baby
1130am shower for the baby, with the help of confinement lady of course
1230pm lunch 
1pm feed the baby
130pm pump milk
230pm rest and shower with the "confinement bathing water"
330pm rest ( finally....., but booo~~ this the time usually people will b in my house "visiting" baby and disturb my baby's sleep)
4pm feed the baby 
430pm pump milk
530pm rest (and reflect on life, lol)
630pm dinner 
7pm pump milk 
730pm feed the baby
8pm rest (ok this will only happen if ppl don't come camp in the house again... )
830 help baby to wipe face and change clothes, preferably long sleeve, as sleeping clothes
930pm drank some herbal soup
10pm feed the baby 
1030pm pump milk 
11pm push the baby cot to confinement lady 's room, baby will stay with confinement lady at night.

In summary, ur daily routine is only pump milk, feed the baby, and eat the confinement food. In between, help baby to shower, change diapers and busy entertaining those visitor who always appear in the house, routine usually b disturbed once there's visitor.

I m abit worry as I finishing my confinement period. 
To b accurate , I edy finish my confinement period cause I edy shower the "flower bath" today, and my confinement lady told me I can go out anytime I want and no need to wear "confinement attire" edy.
After this, I'll need to take care of my baby 24 hours /7 days edy, and oso cook for myself, do my own laundry and work up to lose weight!! Pray that I can handle this, i actually prepared to face this alone edy, but seem like so many "kind" person wants to interfere my plan, so annoying. Anyway, pray that my baby can grow well, and I can continue breast feeding as long as I can.

Till then.

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Half way through confinement period

So I edy half way pass my confinement month. Just few rants and thoughts and comment on this. I really hope those ppl who had no ' common sense ' can understand .

The first month after delivery is call confinement period !!

It's the time for mother to REST and oso bond with the baby - NOT to entertain all the guest and whoever relatives who are over concern and wanna come visit the baby. It's common sense right, if u go to visit the baby EVERY SINGLE day , how can the mother and baby rest? 

My baby is now Day 18, but I NEVER had a day which I can really REST and spend time with my baby , because so many ppl keep coming over my house. When these ppl came to my house, they will stay for so long, and even if the baby is sleeping , they wanna bring the baby out to 'play'. HELLO!!! My baby is a human being , she is NOT a Toy ok. Just because of their selfish act, sometime, when my baby almost wanna sleep, these ppl come n disturb baby, they will said 'oh, baby wanna sleep edy', then they still keep teasing the baby, said something like 'baby, open ur eyes, ur XX come n see u lo', 'baby, can u hear me', 'baby u r so cute, b a good girl ya'... Very INCONSIDERATE right ?! Just imagine, if I know u almost want to sleep edy , but I still teasing u, talking to u, don't let u to sleep, what will u feel?!

The first week worst, everyone came, then keep bring my baby downstairs, say wanna see baby, but I see that as a form of DISTURBING baby sleep. I don't understand, can't these ppl just leave me n the baby alone , at least for the first month, let us rest, let my baby establish some normal routine. It's so obvious that when so many ppl around, how can I breastfeed my baby ? Then I pump out breast milk, but when ppl come and 'play' with the baby, if my baby needs feeding, then they will said' ok, let's feed the baby with the breast milk in fridge '. Oh yeah, we memang feed the baby these way, but can't they just consider my feeling when saying this in front of me . Usually if I'm alone with the baby, when baby wanna feed, I'll feed the baby first, then only ask my confinement lady warm the stored breastmilk and continue feed her with bottled breast milk. But once so many ppl is around, I can't just told them, 'can u guys just go back now and let me breastfeed my baby'... I don't understand, really don't understand why some ppl just so lack of Common sense!!!

Second weeks onwards I decided to b cruel and nasty abit, I told those ppl who visit Do not bring my baby to downstair! Yeah I remind my husband so many time about this until he felt annoyed. But yeah , after that, ppl start giving me n my baby some space . I felt glad i manage to reduce the disturbance to my baby by setting that nasty rule. 

Oso, when those ppl come, I need to answer to their weird questions, over and over again. ESP my baby got jaundice for a long period, I'm already very very tire bringing her to hospital/KK to for check up and follow up. And I'm quite sure it's due to breast milk jaundice and I know the jaundice will resolve as time goes. Then here come many 'Smart' and 'experience' relatives, who likes to give lots of different advices. I'm someone who don't like to argue back, so will just smile to them even in my heart I deeply disagree with them. But I'm very tire of answering ppl's question, and listening to those negative comments given by those '38' aunties....

Then when I mention about breastmilk jaundice, someone told me, why not u no need give breastmilk edy, just give powder milk. This really makes me feel hurt and shameful. Really, when a mother decides to breastfeed the baby, and work hard to pump every 3 hours in a day, and research and try all sorts of ways just to increase her breastmilk so that her baby can get the best nutrition, how can someone just said this type of thing to the mother? I really really hurt after hearing that. Seriously, if u leave me and the baby alone, I think prob my baby and I will b fine, she prob won't have prolonged jaundice. If those 'concerned' relative leave me and my baby alone , don't come my house so often, I think prob my baby will b healthy today....

But, today, my baby admitted to hospital because of prolonged jaundice due to UTI. Yeah, when so many ppl keep come to my house, how can I take care of my baby well? Sigh . I know I shouldn't simply put the blame to others, but I felt really really sad cause my baby needs to b subject to intravenous antibiotic. She is just 18 days old. 

Anyway, yeah , because my baby is in hospital nursery , where the parents are not allowed to room in, so I'm back home , alone, without my baby. I miss my baby. Thinking on positive way, prob it's good as well cause the nursery don't allow visitor other than parents. So my baby finally can b feed and rest well there, without disturbed by others ... 

Dear Beatrice baby, mummy pray that u will recover soon. Mummy wants to bring u home as soon as possible, but mummy hope u can b feed and rest more in nursery without disturbance, so we will pray that you can b discharged as soon as you are completely recovered.

Till then. 

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