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Sometimes, I feel like this blog is just for me to rant. But I can't write the actual things here. I cannot irritate ppl, eventhough I'm good in that.

Having to do something that I had disagreed for years, just make me feel myself is too not realistic. Subject myself to the excruciating, burning , persistent pain is just a big " huo gai" to me. Yeah, I had state so long ago I refuse that. But I do it cause to please the person.

Never I know, the pain is real. Every day and nights, tears , suffer, unable to do things properly.  N all this cannot b understand by the person that force me to do. When I cry in pain, I'm being labelled as "emotional". When I complain, it just sound like I'm exaggerating. So what's the point of me undergo the suffer?

Yeah, I'm emotional. I'm negative thinking. I cannot stand the pain n it's my fault n I deserve scolding. Yeah. I wish I could b positive. I just want ppl to concern. But it seem this is damn difficult to achieve.

I decided, no more suffering n being force by ppl. Sometimes, just do things I prefer n don't need to change for ppl. Ppl won't appreciate. Like in my case, I was being scolded for being emotional when crying in mouth sore. No appreciation at all.

Till then

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