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Hometown-Dinner-FAT

Alright, so the chilling week had gone. Last week, i skip 2 days and go back hometown. LOL. No lar, cause that 2 days no class scheduled, so is equal to holiday for me, and most of my classmates is not here anymore, so i went back hometown. It took me 10 hours to get back. So tiring but anyway, worth it. =)

Let's show some picture here, i realize all my post is about food. And yet i HATE eating so much. This is during Munn's bday dinner...


Something worth mention here, if i went out eat this type of dinner with my friends, i will be the one end up paying more, cause i don't really get to eat, once the dishes came, everyone get one scoop for me on my plate, then i start eating, and when i half way eating i look up, all the dishes almost gone edy, so i want add dishes to my plate oso no need edy. Good for me in a way since i oso don't want to eat, bad for me cause i waste money on food that i never eat. Sigh......that's why i hate to go for this type of dinner with friends.
But if is going with family, then it's different story. Went back hometown, dad brought us to Taiping, we ate this curry fish head and salted chicken.

Is the famous one, we used to eat this often when we stay here, er more than 10 years back....haha.
Oh cause i go back hometown, of course my mum will cook, so she cook this red wine soup and vegetable, delicious!!

So u see i'm so well-fed at home.. haha.
Next the famous Laksa + Ice Kacang in my hometown

Ok i need to admit i only finish 1/3 of both dishes cause it's really toooo big for me.
Finally self potrait.....
Oh and our church in Seremban NGA celebrating 10th anniversary. And Nick is the one sings for open ceremony of the whole event, so he went practice and practice and very excited about the whole event. Me? become the one that take cares of his car cause i drive his car here n there back n fro home cause i want do assignment at home etc etc....
So the above photo taken during practicing, the below one is the photo taken on that night.

And obviously, when my bf is busy practising singing at the back stage, i just take my time do my hair, put make up etc etc and drive his car and park his car nicely, then end up attending the dinner late. LOL, that's why got taken that photo. Cause i came late and that time is the time to welcome all the guest so many photographers etc there.
Honestly, i don't see anything nice about me on that picture. But since i rarely took this type of pic, just show one here lar. ...



Finally, one pic of me n Nick.
I look so ARTIFICIAL with those make up. Look at the super thick powder i put on my face.....Sigh.

Till then.

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上班衣着十大禁忌

当突然响起警报时没有遮掩地光着屁股从床上跑出来,也是足够难受的。来认真想想上班时我们应当穿什么?如果你很在意你的事业,必须穿你最合适的,做 你最好的。我们尽量希望这不是真的,但是上班时穿着错误,确实会给你的同事和老板送出错误的信息。这里是十大流行的上班族失礼衣着,在朝九晚五的时候一定 要避免。
  不要——

  • 衣物带着活泼的商标。你希望你的老板记住你的名字,不是将名字印在你的身体的每一英寸。无论是Armani 或者 Adidas, Gucci 或者Guess,从头到脚装饰这些商标是很俗气的。
  • 让人喊出“天啊!”不要听信那些著名的爱好和时尚杂志——什么旅行时的满是洞洞的牛仔裤。这些不适合在办公室(即使是很休闲的)。不用说,饰满洞洞和露出内衣的短样式是更大的禁忌。
  • 感觉灼热的橡胶。如果让我们随意,我们也许愿意走在拖鞋的吧嗒吧嗒声里(在短途的走路)。但是,唉,在上班族的世界里它没有好作用。这些舒适的橡胶或者塑料拖鞋也许能给我们的脚放放假,但是太不适合办公室的气氛了。
  • 在衣物上做声明。在适当的时机,用适当的方式,说出你的工作想法,那是棒极了。但是,衣物上带着宗教或者政治内容的显眼的字母单词的东西是必须避免的。这可能会冒犯你的同事,制造矛盾冲突,甚至拖你违反规矩。所以留着你的即兴演说到下班以后吧。

  女孩们,不要——
  • 穿着短裤秀美腿。显然,是这样,那么为什么人们还这样做呢?即使你搭配上一双漂亮的女鞋或者一件可爱的夹克,短裤也还是不适合办公室——特别是短的短裤,会把你的事业砍得更短!如果你想轻松凉爽的夏天形象,还是裙子吧。
  • 要爆破的紧身胸衣。在办公室门口检查一下没爆炸吧。无论你走在过道时你倾向穿着什么,不要愚蠢地欺骗自己,以为罩一件黑色的运动衣在紧身胸衣上面,就能使你看起来很职业化了。
  • 制造闪光炫目的饰物。除非你的办公室是个夜总会,把你的那些闪光炫目的东西锁好在你的衣橱里,一直到黑天以后。

  男人们,不要——
  • 动感的皮裤。穿着皮制品去上班将会得到赞扬和信任——只是当它们是鞋,皮带,和夹克。相反,皮裤只会使你看起来像是个超级的爱尔兰修锯人崇拜者(更糟糕一点,是个吃软饭的)。这种不好的判断会使你的同事在团体工作中很难信任你。
  • 激情的士兵工作服。除非你的工作是为山姆大叔,称呼你的老板为“长官”。办公室不是士兵工作服该呆的地方。事实上它会让其他人不舒服——没有人愿意他们工作在非军事区或者同从战斗排来的家伙分享小房间。
  • 启动牛仔靴。牛仔靴(搭配牛仔帽)不是办公室服装。在适当的环境里,这些鞋帽对于男人可能是超级性感的,但是当你在努力争取一个更好的职业位置时,这些东西不会让你走得很远.

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depress

When i'm back in hometown, i'm glad, cause finally i'm free from people who like to comment about my diet. I don't see anything wrong with my diet, ppl comment cause they dono what's my diet like. They just talk as if they know me when actually they know nothing. Talk so much, no content one....

Now i'm back in hometown, no one comment about what i'm taking and eating, but once i put on weight, the nightmare start haunting me again.

I can remember who , who and who used to tell me that i'm fat, that i need to lose weight, that i became fatter, that my lose weight method is wrong that's why i cannot slim down, that i'm fat n stupid, that i don't deserve to be a pretty girl, that i am a fat big ass girl, that i should not eat anymore, that the food that i eat contain high sugar, that it's more easy to be fat with what i'm eating now, that i didn't exercise (like they know?!), that my way of dieting is the wrong one, etc etc.

Yeah, thanks so much for those hurtful comments, i'm more depress now. For those that used to say the above statement to me, i dono should i still angry with them, or i should thanks them for motivate me lose more weight. Sigh.

It's quite depressing. Probably it's PMS again. sigh.

Till then.

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There Is A God

Heard this song from somewhere few days ago, n i find it very interesting and really inspiring and true!!!

"There Is A God"

Try and put your arms around
the 100 year old tree
Climb up on a horse
and let it run full speed
Take a look down at the world from 30,000 feet
on your next flight

Watch a flock of birds
against the morning sun
Close your eyes and listen
to the river run
Catch a firefly in your hand
or a raindrop on your tongue
That's right

[Chorus:]
There is a God
There is a God
There is a God
How much proof do you need?

Plant a seed and see
what comes out of the ground
Find the heartbeat on your baby's ultrasound
In a few years hear it laughing,
and don't it sound like a song?

Stop and think about
what you don't understand
Things like life and love
and how the world began
Hear the doctor say he can't explain it,
but the cancer is gone

[Chorus:]
There is a God
There is a God
There is a God
How much proof do you need?

[Bridge:]
Science says it's all just circumstance
Like this whole worlds just an accident
But if you want to shoot that theory down,
Look around

Just look around

There is a God
There is a God
There is a God,
How much proof do you need?

Oh there is a God
There is a God
There is a God
How much proof do you need?

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Again

Sometime i just dono how to face this. It had been bothering me for quite some time, and recently i think it worsen. And people are giving me critic for EVERY.SINGLE.MEAL that i took. What did i eat, what had i did, all, sometime i just hope everyone just give me a BREAK. Stop controlling my eating habit, i have AUTONOMY over my own health.

Because of people keep commenting, i started to have nightmare of people calling me fat, which it does happen years back when i first enter this uni. And all the scene of people laughing at my weight, make fun of my body size, commenting on my body image all come back to haunt me. It's quite suffering. I dono those people that keep commenting knows about this or not, i bet they don't, they just know how to comment.

Sigh, do u think it's possible to reach my target weight? cause i had been reducing the target weight day by day, week by week. When i almost reaching, i 'll cancel the initial target weight and put a new figure on it. And my friend just simply enter my room without my permission to rub off my target weight on my white board, making me even depress cause i wil think that they probably think that weight is too high for me. So once they rub off my targeted weight, i'll put out a lower number there, so u see how damaging are those people to my illness. Critics, scolding, betraying, commenting, all this are BAD for a person with anorexic nervosa. Konon-nya all future doctors.......=_=lll

Till then.

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I-O-I

stands for intraosseous insertion.
From Medscape,
Intraosseous (IO) access techniques have been used for decades and have been proven to be safe, reliable, and rapid means of providing crystalloids, colloids, medications, and blood products into the systemic circulation.[1] 
 1. Helm M, Breschinski W, Lampl L, et al. Intraosseous puncture in preclincal emergency medicine. Experiences of an air rescue service. Anaesthesist. Dec 1996;45(12):1196-202.


Since we're in Paediatric posting, so we got to learn this important procedure. So the picture i'm going to show below are quite disgusting, as we can't do on real baby since there is not many parents allow us to do so, so we practice on chicken bone.

The needles..

The procedure, i'm wearing glove on both hand while doing the procedure, this is taken after i finish the insertion.....
 The poor chicken bone.
See the needle prick hole on the bone? LOL. Don't worry, u can still go eat KFC with this. It is not that disgusting after all. Yeah.

Also, thanks to our dear batchmate Karmen who is a Zumba dance instructor, we started this zumba fitness club here in Batu Pahat, where we go for the Zumba dance once a week, i guess since there's is not much entertainment here, we all just attend this for fun, and for me, lose weight definitely!

 These pictures are taken from Ada's iphone. the silly facies......
A pic of me n Karmen, not taken during Zumba, taken when all of us go  McD after watching Namwee's movie.....
She is so thin!! My face become so big when i'm beside her. Haha. I think she is a very talented smart and nice pretty girl!!=)

Lastly, i saw this two bookmark when i'm buying something from a grocery shop, so i bought two for my sister, she really loves Smurf............
Lala lalalala, Sing a happy song, Lala lalalala, Smurf the whole day long.

Now, it's the time for me to psycho myself--I Love Portfolio..................
Till then.

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Proper Meals

As i promise Nick i'll eat a proper meal, i really do so. Now i think i'm numb to ppl's critic and advices, for me, as long as i don't starve myself and i do know what m i eating, other ppl destructive comment should just be ignored... Sometime we just got to ignore what ppl's comment, they might think they are correct all the time but in the end is wrong. Everyone say i got anemia, so i go do a full blood count today, this morning. Oh btw, i get Prick-ed SIX time before they got enough blood from me to run the blood test. So now the current conclusion is, because i'm anorexic so my blood vessels all collapse dy, so it's very difficult to find my veins now. =( But good thing is, the result turns out that my Hb level is within normal range! the only abnormality in my FBC is the mild neutropenia and slight eosinophilia. No other finding. Good for me. So since the topic is on meals, let me show all food picture here. Of foods that i "encounter" with in Batu Pahat.

The Chinese healthy soup meal, the meal that i promise i'll eat properly.

Yeah, i did finish my food.


Sometime to compensate, wholemeal bread is enough for me, but i make sure i don't starve.
So i still don't understand why ppl want to critic my diet habit.

Next the Thai food! Looks nice, but super spicy. I didn't eat much obviously.
The coconut is nice, but not very ber-isi...

Next theJapanese food
The rice ball is adequate for one meal actually, super filling.......

So believe huh? i ate normally like a normal adult. =)

Lastly saw this picture from a doctor's blog. About speciality a medical student should chose based on his/her personality. I think the one i'm interested with suites me well. LOL

Till then.

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too harsh

Guess what, after reading my previous post, i really dono what 's wrong with me of posting up such harsh post and typing things without processing through my brain. So now i read back and felt like i'm a B**ch that loves to comment. LOL. so now i really hope ppl wont get angry with me. I really think i got lots of good friends that really care for me. Now i think it's very bad to end up having a perforated DU just because i dont want to eat and want to slim down. Ok, i'll probably stop at my target weight and waistline when i reach. All the best to me. =_=lll

Till then.

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piano cafe

So the good thing of my blog is, not many people that i know will read it, more accurately, not many persons that i see everyday will read it. And i'm expressing out my current feeling, even when people read it, this anger/disappointment/sad/depressed mood had long gone.

Probably i'm surrounded by friends that is around the same age or younger than me, that still studying despite growing age, and despite most of our friends had start earning big money, getting married or raising kids. Or probably friends that i mixed with are those that are from rich family and grown up in city which they enjoy the luxurious of city life and spending their parents money like no body business. Oh probably i'm one of them oso, just that i'm fully raise and grown up in a small town and had been labelled as a super pampered kid in that small town, but guess what, when i'm in my current class, i'm like one of the most not rich and the most not pampered kid. Ok lar, at least i wont like go buy a water heater just because the house i rent no water heater. At least i wont ask my dad buy me a fridge to put my stuff in the room. At least i wont like "cannot survive" without an aircorn. At least i 'm not wearing branded shirt every single day. My most expensive bag is that longchamp bag which is a gift, not i buy myself one.

Well i came from a town call Ayer Tawar, but since no one know this town name, and ppl are more familiar with Sitiawan, so i 'll just tell ppl i'm from there. And ppl like to proclaim that they are from that town when they actually just stay there few years of their life. Oh i found a way to differentiate those who are truely born and grown up fully in AT, they owns Motorcycle License at least grade B2!!! Those who everyday tell ppl they are from that town, talk like they know alot of that town, express as if they are very proud of themselves from that town, ok, probably they are really proud of and know alot about this town. I'm really glad i got that motorcycle license, at least i'm not those that talk and look like from a small town but i'm really from small town and i'm not pampered kid from big city.

Ok enough for that, i oso dono what i really want to express through the previous paragraph, just ignore whatever i've type, i'll most probably forgot about it after i type it. Haha.

Since the main reason of this blog is not whatever that i've type, let's just get into topic.
I felt really not happy when ppl like to comment about me like i have no feeling and won't feel anything no matter whatever they do to me. Just because i dont want to eat, doesn't means that i'm sick. And even if i'm sick, this doesn't mean that i need to be punished by being comment, scold or being describe like a dog or animal. There is something call basic courtesy, and even though i might not get angry or show face to ppl, this doesn't mean that i have no feeling and deserve being treated like a small kids. Reason of not eating is really want to save money, so what, just believe it and dont make it as if very serious and go tell the whole world and go complain to my parents or my love one. This is my own money issue, not because my dad no money supply me, why want to make my parents so sad and make them guilty, i don't mean it that way and even as a friend, simply go comment something about someone infront of the parents and make the parents sad is a very childish act. I really cry and felt very very sad when my friend go comment about my problem in front of public and want my parents to know, then my parents get so worried and guilty and call me and scold me. That feeling is just very bad. Just imagine if i do this to them, what will they feel. They just thinking of themselves, what they think is right, like everyone got to follow them. Sigh, no choice, they are doctors, doctors like to order patient do this do that as if they are the one that's always correct. Now i understand why Dato' keep stressing on giving patient the choice, understand patient's feeling and all sorts of ethical issue. Because we just think that we're right and everyone got to listen to us and we treat ppl like small kids or worst, like animal.

Sigh, ya i know they do this is for my own good, but i got the choice to chose what i think is suitable for me. just like a patient is suppose to given choice of chosing their own treatment. Not to be force or being keep persuading by doctors for accepting certain procedure. Then again, we're responsible of our own life. Who is suppose to responsible if we force someone to do something but it turn out to have a bad outcome? The one that going through the process is the one that suffer. The one that force that person? will only blame the person to be too weak or finding excuse to get out from the situation. Same for me, i'm the one that going through this, but people keep forcing me do this do that, if i refuse, they will comment about me as if i got no feeling. Talk about me as if i'm an animal. Like i got no emotion like that. Sigh. dono lar. Probably they r for my own good, but they dono they will hurt me cause i never complain.

Same goes to being comment. I dono what's wrong with not staying at where i 'm now over the weekend. Just because i take the responsibility of being a good girlfriend, doesn't mean i 'm entitle to be comment or critic by people. Some people, they don't really understand the whole situation, but they just comment and comment as if they know everything. If i didn't go back, they will come out with their own reason and don't give me a chance to explain. Honestly, when i see someone so like to talk, i'll just decided to keep quiet and let them just talk, talk whatever they think that they are correct. I think those who like to talk are those who like to talk about themselves, those who are selfish and those who only know and care about themselves. They can do something to others, doesn't mean that they won't do something to their close friend. LOL.
So i go back seremban quite often. So what. I 'm the one that taking the total of 6 hours bus journey every week. I'm the one that pay for my own bus ticket everytime. I'm not the one that wanted to go back that often one honestly. If not because i'm being ask again and again, u think i'll be so free to go take bus waste my time and money? So the issue about the other half is free or not free and good or not good. I dono why ppl like to make fun of other ppl other half, this is very childish and not professional at all. Sigh i oso dono how to comment on that. just hope ppl will grown up and ppl realize what they doing actually hurts other ppl's feeling.

That all my rant for now. THis are just rant, after this i'll just ignore this feeling and continue my own life, same as usual with all the comments and the immunity towards all these.

Some photos for this bored post. Went to a cafe call Piano Cafe in Batu Pahat Wonderland Mall. Nice place, but too bad the waiter and waitress there cannot communicate well in English. They actually ask us to speak chinese when we try to communicate with them in English. sigh.




Also went steamboat and eat till super full during weekend.This is the reason for my this week diet plan for now.

Till then.

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Disease process

First of all, i want to say, to everyone, anyone.....
If you have a friend who is not thin, PLEASE PLEASE do not call them fat or give them nick name. The impact is, ANOREXIC NERVOSA. this is a very serious condition that you want to heal but u just cannot stop. And after a person become anorexic, they will think of them as a fat person for a very long period, despite how you counsel them. Worse is, if they are abit well educated, it's much more difficult to give them CBT. They won't buy this cognitive behavioural thing.

Ya, i know this, i 'm going through this, i'm seriously dono how to face this. No, i should say, i know how to face this, but i don't want to face this. I persuade myself that i should reach the target weight, i cry on my own when i realize i gain weight, i just cant stop to hurt myself when i put on alot of weight that is not acceptable to me. I always thought that my disease had gone into remission and i'll be fine soon. I always want to stay happy like this. But the thing is, i'm not God, and sometime i know i can heal but i refuse. I'm very confuse. The thing i type oso sound confuse cause i oso confuse.

I knew that it's a non-ending disease, came along with all sorts of complication and consequences. But then, when it's really happen, i just couldn't accept it. To make things worse, i'm always being counsel and become a joke for my friends. I know it's for my own good but i just couldn't accept it when they play until too over. I know they really do for my benefits, they don't want me to end up having on TPN in the ward or having a PGU. They cannot tahan me abusing my own body esp my stomach. So they keep counsel me, try all sorts of ways to tell me i need to eat more.

Thing get worse when i start to realize i need to organize my own financial plan and i need to pay for my own school fees as much as i can. It's really very stressful to need to face all this. Sometime, the reason for not eating is not as easy as i'm an anorexic anymore. There are more reasons behind this. But when ppl just take it as i'm an anorexic and keep persuade me to eat, i feel more stress.

Sigh, dono lar, this is not going to end anytime soon, but i'm a Christian, i believe in my Almighthy God. I have a very supportive parents and family members, i have a very supportive boyfriend as well, and good housemates, good batchmates, good group mates etc etc and lots and lots of good friends who keep telling me i'm thin enough, i'm pretty enough, i 'm in good shape.

Guess this is the hormone thing again. Sigh, ppl's PMS is pre-MS, my PMS now is post-MS.

All the best for me

Till then.

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25% done

I told Nick, u know, after we completed 5 weeks posting, we are 25% done in this place called Batu Pahat. He ask me back..."u guys really hate that place huh?" er, so far we didnt really H-A-T-E this place, we just don't like the face that it's not as our expectation. The place itself is great, nice food, lot's of shops, definitely lots more makan place than Seremban, but here is not Seremban, u can't go KL whenever u like. For ppl from KL, here is definitely further from home. For ppl from Perak like me, here is even further. No direct bus to Ayer Tawar somemore.
So we're counting days here. woohoo, 75% left.

oh, i went Pavilion that day and had this, Mochi! the one that my sister's friend told her is nice and ask her to buy but when i went with my sister that shop is close. Well, it's quite nice, i chose the Peach and Purple Potato flavour. nice, but expensive.


Next, we went Kluang hospital again, just to show face as our lecturer insist us to go. So we ended up go to have breakfast there, spend 45 minutes having breakfast, go hospital another 30 minutes, then drive back to Batu Pahat. Such a waste of petrol and energy. Anyway, this the commercialize Kluang Railway cafe. food there more expensive, and definitely the food not that nice compare to the original railway cafe....
I had Roti Bakar and half boil eggs. the nasi rendang and nasi lemak is not mine, just take pic for the sake of taking. =_=

So as i said, we completed 25%, so we went for dinner together at Juz Waffle
is a shop that sells all kinds of waffle, with chicken floss, seaweed, rendang chicken etc etc inside the waffle. The dessert cake is nice too!

We watch Nasi Lemak 2.0 that day, and we ended up having supper in McD, such unhealthy lifestyle, we know. But we're young, our organs still function well to get rids of the unhealthy food we ingested, hopefully.
yupe, the group pictures. Wonder why i so free to blog at this time? cause i'm in Paedssss posting. konon-nya very free, wait till 2ml lar. haha

Till then.

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news

Iphone 4S launched...

comparison between Iphone 4 and Iphone 4S

The famous ex-CEO say farewell to this world.

Conclusion: Pancreatic Cancer has a very BAD prognosis.

Till then.

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Apple - Introducing iPhone 4S

So, the new iphone 4S...

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C.A

So this is what final semester all about. Assessment. Assignment. Evaluation. Feedback. Emails. Reports.
Oh ya forgot to mention about last Wed, where i had severe vomiting n diarrhea. I had been waking up at night to vomit for few times, then go hospital for class but not feeling well and look super ill, went home rest. The worse thing is while walking to my car, i vomit 5-6 times at the hospital car park. So gross. Then at night i start having fever and diarrhea.
Luckily i have a bunch of good friends who are in medical field and we share medications among each others, so i took some PCM from chuimunn, ORS from siling n siewkim, antimotility drug oso from siling, ingest the PCM and sleep. I'm fine 2 days later and went to consult a GP who told me i'm worry too much and actually i'm fine. She gave me some Charcol and ask me drink more 100 plus.
Well, i recovered well and back to normal now. Really felt grateful for my wonderful friends!

Another thing is in BatuPahat, everything is about food. They say here got more variety food than in Seremban, which i do agree with this statement. Let's show some foods, first, the cendol shop. Is at Jalan Engan, but if ask me the exact direction, i'll just tell u, go to the town, turn here turn there, near pasar there, look for this road, then u'll find this cendol place, one bowl one ringgit, worth trying!

Then the duck noodle that i ate for lunch today. Is also at somewhere in the town. But this not the most delicious one, cause the famous one is close, so we went to this duck noodle in town. forgot name of the shop. Ok ok lor. haha.

Since it's quite boring here, sorry my life had been this boring, My entertainment is facebook. My assignment submit through email. I pay everything online using online banking. but the worst part is i'm using maxis broadband, an EXPENSIVE and BAD connection. Sigh. These some nice pic i found from facebook , thought of posting it up here.
This house is seriously the DREAM house. Nice right....
Something about apple products.....
So there's a reason why until now i dont have an ipad/iphone/ipod etc, at least i'm won't burden my dad with these thing. At least i know i should get this with my hard earn money in stead. LOL. I think i talk big only lar.
Oh this is interesting, couples, let's go Jogoya for this promotion!!
I thought of ask Nick bring me, but i think of my anorexic i might end up wasting his money or my own money, so ..... if i go i put pictures here, if i didnt go u know the reason...

Last, wanted to post about this very long, didn't really have proper time to write a post on it. Thanks God for the bicycle team in my church in Seremban. They really did great things for God through this Cycle of hope project.
Click on the picture, it link to the facebook fan page....
Also the newspaper coverage, click on the picture as well to read more...



Praise be the Lord.

Till then. I should go email my assignment to lecturer now. T_T

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