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It had been one day plus. But my mind is still very disturbed by the sudden incidence.


Sudden death after breakfast. What happen? Choke? myocardial infarction? stoke? etc etc etc. why is there sudden cardiac arrest?
This two days, i keep asking myself, what will be the outcome if i'm there, if i'm there to start CPR immediately or do the Helmich manuevour immediately, will this be able to reverse the whole incidence? I'm puzzled, i'm sad, i'm very very shock and in still not reach acceptance stage for the news.


My heart was pounding very very fast when i receive the phone call. Even though i'm not there, but i felt like my heart is there. True enough, as human being, my first instinct is ask God, Why, God, why her? she is so young, she is so energetic, she did so much for God, she help so much in church? why her? why? So how about her 3 children, they still yet reach adolescent age, who's going to take care of them? She play such an important role in church, who is going to replace her responsibilty in future?


Having face certain amount of life and death for few years, i still couldn't accept that this happen in my close friend. Ya God is in charge of our life. Our life is in God's hand. My faith in God had not been shaken, but how about others? will they still trust God? I may not understand why is this happen, but i'm sure God know. He always know what is He doing, and He only give His children the Best.


Anyway, suddenly i realize, our life is just so fragile. Life n death can just happen in few minutes. Just like in delivery room, baby can be delivered in few minutes time, anyone can loss their life in few minutes time as well.


Talk about primary prevention, i seriously have no idea how can this be prevent. Get everyone to learn CPR? will this help? i dono.


I'm sad seeing my parents being so sad. I felt useless as i couldn't do anything to this. I'm stuck in Seremban cause i'm pursueing my degree and having exam this week.
I seriously dono how will their future be, esp the children, 3 children with one use to be my piano student.


What i can do now is just pray pray and pray and bless God's healing and peace to be upon all my loved one.


R.I.P. Beloved friend.

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About being old

Well, being in phase 2 for one year plus plus plus make me leave most my memory on phase 1 behind long long time ago, but this morn, when we met with juniors who came for nursing week, well, it's a mix feeling for us. They are just 2 sem in IMU, and we are 2 sem from leaving IMU. And the funniest thing is the junior ask me, er, are u student from clinical school or houseman here? then when i told them i'm sem 9, the proptosis eye and shock expression make me felt that i'm getting older and older. Then when i share this with my friend, he told me, "i'm sorry to say that, u look old enough to be a houseman edy"......=_=lll


Oh well, life goes on. Being in paeds for 3 weeks, seeing all the neonatal baby, premature baby, looking at the super tiny little baby, which weight 700g or 1300g, i mean those born in 28 weeks or 32 weeks, i was amazed how wonderful life is!! You know, God's creation is so great that even a small baby can survive in the incubator for so long. Looking at the babies, i really salute them for being able to thrive inside the incubator. Their hands and legs are soooooo small, i really wonder how the doctors able to find the vein and insert line into the vein.... God is really GREAT!


Few days ago, we have class with a doctor, who ask us talk about financial management in young doctors, and he share with us the wonderful of giving. Although he didnt really teach much in class, but i think he really make an effort into building our character, and let us know that studying medicine doesn't means becoming a nerd and just study, we must build our character during this 5 years period. I kind of agree with him when he say that responsible attitude is not build up in short period of time one, it reflect alot on ur upbringing and family background. Really, now i seen few medical students who are such irresponsible and make "sick" and having an "MC" as a big excuse to absent class. Seriosly, i still think one my friend that always told me she is sick everytime she absent from class is immunocompromised. How can a normal person get sick for 3 times just in one month?? If i get sick once in a month i will get scolded by my mum edy, i dono why her parents never do anything about this. sigh.


Ok i think i should stop here and should not simply crap anymore if not i'll become the most hate-able bitch in this uni. LOL.

TIll then.

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