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i know everyone is stress now, my everyone means my batch people. those who having exam. esp the so call professional exam, that when u heard the way they announce result u also get scare edy. And the amount of knowledge that u r require to know. that's even scarier.........

Ok i know i should be studying, but i just really cant find a proper channel to channel my thought, or probably i just don't understand why people always think that they are correct and others are always wrong.

For AN, actually i think, if everyone just LEAVE ME ALONE, and let me chose when to eat and what to eat, but not FORCING me eat everytime see me, and trying to PSYCHO-therapy me everytime see me, i'll be much better now.
I seriously think that, all those so call counselling advice and thought challenging section that my friends trying to do with me seriously aggravate my symptoms. I'm not kidding.

I know one of the symptoms of AN is easily get irritate by people commenting about eating habit, so i really dont understand why everyone want to elicit this symptoms by commenting my habit everytime seeing me.................The diagnosis of AN in me is already very clear, there is no need to elicit more symptoms by irritate me everytime during lunch/dinner hour.

Ok i really dono how to phrase all these, i know all my friends are very nice people and all of them are trying to help. And my phychiatrist lecturer is helping me as well, CBT had proven doesn't work on me, same goes to thought challenging or desensitisation or whatever form of psychotherapy associated with cognitive or behavioural changing. And since it does not work, probably what i need is a good social support, just let me continue and slowly adapt to my condition, and encourage me by telling me i'm ok, not treat me as a patient that absconted from one of the psychiatry ward. Things will be fine. Recovery is gradual, don't try to aggravate it, it wont work, it will only worsen.

Well that's all i would like to say now. I'm having meal properly currently, at least i eat 3 meals per day, at least i did not get hypoglycemia so often nowadays, at least i did not purge anymore, and i did not abuse laxative anymore, at least i dont have to go to A&E department in the middle of the night due to IO again, at least i dont easily get mood swing anymore, at least my menstrual cycle get back to the regular tract

So since recovery is gradually taking place, i dont see any reason why people want to aggravate it by trying to continue irritate me and challenging my thought and keep treating me as a AN patient. Well, i am, but i'm recovering. and i don't know why ppl want to take my disclaimed of recovery as regressing insight. Even so, it's alright. A schizo patient have better prognosis if having poor insight, so even i'm having poor insight, that just let it be, at least this prove that i'll have better prognosis. Right???

Well, i should go study now. I think i'll be fine. Till then.

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